Not All Roses Are Red

Nor are violets blue. Violets are violet. That is why they are called violets, and that is why it is called violet.

I cannot understand those who profess to have "booked a table" for this evening. How do you know that she even likes snooker?

I have never sent a card for this occasion, and I have only ever received one. It was from a girl at school who, like me, is now 37, but who, unlike me, is now a grandparent. Some bullets are well and truly dodged.

(Of local interest, I do not know what the Bede's is coming to, since I recounted that anecdote to the Sixth Form mathematician across the road, and, far from taking it in his stride, his poor little head nearly exploded.)

But I look positively romantic by comparison with this.

Anyway, while not all roses are red, the blood of the martyrs is. By the miracle of cyberspace, venerate the Skull of the Holy Martyr, St Valentine.